open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

probably since i don't think there's a fucking hotel within 20 miles of where this fucker lives
i think his house is basically divided into wings though so we can probably still have sex

[hypochondrias]

I probably shouldn’t be so proud that both of our brains immediately were t to the same place

[trashmouthing]

am i supposed to go four days without it or something? gross

[hypochondrias]

Possibly five days even unless you plan to fly out thanksgiving day and arrive for dinner already tired

[trashmouthing]

fuck that to be honest
you want me to go ahead and book tickets? i'm just chilling at the hotel

[hypochondrias]

Yeah go ahead while we’re talking about it
Fly us in Wednesday, we can leave Sunday whenever
Don’t forget to use the travel rewards card this time
Pretty sure this’ll get us to a free flight you can use for your next tour date

By the way
If we don’t have sex at least twice this trip I’m gonna have to drag you to the car and suck you off

[trashmouthing]

i think i left that card at home but i might have it saved on my laptop
ends in 56 right?
also if we're getting free flights i wanna use them for shit that's more fun than work
hawaii or some bullshit

bold of you to assume i don't want to desecrate haystack's beautiful estate

[hypochondrias]

Yeah? You wanna save it to use next month?
I'm turning you into a vacation convert

Alright so we're gonna fuck up and down that ridiculous house of his
Right?

[trashmouthing]

i never even really liked traveling
you'll make me a man of the world yet babe

oh yeah
i think he has one of those fucking waterfall showers in every bathroom
i'll take doing nasty things to your body in there for $200 alex

[hypochondrias]

Any reason you never liked it?

And any reason why you know that’s what the bathrooms are like?

[trashmouthing]

i dunno really
i was on the road a lot by myself when i was younger
i mean i'm on the road by myself a lot now but idk
it's different

i guessed and i think bev confirmed
i did not ask for more information because i don't have the brain cells to spare to learn more about straight people sex

[hypochondrias]

It’s different cause now you got a guy at home you can call and jerk off to
I guess you never got to travel with someone
And you were always working
I never got to travel much either or at least places where I got to enjoy myself
Maybe that’s why I wanna go with you so much

So the showers are good for fucking in is what I’m hearing
I’d tell you to thank Bev for the tip but I bet she knows what you’re gonna do with this information

[trashmouthing]

yeah i dunno
i get to miss you and i get to come home to you
it's changing my brain chemistry

fuck yeah
i get to make up for all the eating ass i'm missing right now

[hypochondrias]

Getting to miss me is a definitely a different take

God I don’t know what exactly you’re planning but I kinda want you to surprise me

[trashmouthing]

i mean it sucks but it's kind of nice too?
i dunno
i was never going home to anybody before and you can get drunk in any old town
i wasn't really looking forward to anything anymore
and then you happened

for the record i'm not kidding about the ass eating so that's not gonna be the surprise

[hypochondrias]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean
Making home more than just the place you live
I never imagined someone would let me into their life like you have
I think about that every day

There’s no way you’re gonna wait until Thanksgiving to eat me out but I appreciate your enthusiasm

[trashmouthing]

yeah
so fuck it
i want 100 weird vacations with you
let's go to the bermuda triangle

oh yeah no i'm already mad i can't put my tongue in your ass right now

[hypochondrias]

Do they have to be weird?
Can’t we just go somewhere where we’re not gonna disappear into another dimension

You’re really fixated on my ass right now and I have to tell you this is the sexiest thing
I might not leave the house for awhile after all

[trashmouthing]

i would consider nebraska to be an even further off dimension than whatever's in the bermuda triangle

ugh you're home
i wanna be home
with you
eating ass

[hypochondrias]

I agree with you right now but please expect these feelings to change when we enter the Bermuda Triangle and the world is suddenly governed by cats

Yeah I’m home
Come lay down on me I’m on the couch and it’s kinda cold in here

[trashmouthing]

i wanna go to catworld it sounds way better than normal world

ugh i want to so bad
i bet you're so damn cute right now

[hypochondrias]

You say that now but you might not like it when we go on CatTube and it’s all videos of cats laughing at humans sitting in boxes

Where are you now?
Should I send you a picture and make you even more homesick?

[trashmouthing]

hotel room watching the food network
i would kill for a pic
even if it's just your face

[hypochondrias]

Are you saying a picture of just my face isn’t the ideal?

[trashmouthing]

i have lots of pics of your face
your face is literally my phone background dumbass
i put googly eyes on it