open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

ughhhh i wanna go home

[hypochondrias]

I want you home so badly
I’m not helping by being this clingy and I’m sorry

[trashmouthing]

don't be sorry
i keep thinking it'll get easier and it probably will but so far i'm shit outta luck

[hypochondrias]

I hate to say it but it’s kinda just getting worse for me

[trashmouthing]

you okay baby?

[hypochondrias]

Yeah
When I said I almost got depressed when I came home I meant it
I just feel more pathetic than usual and I don’t know why
What about you?

[trashmouthing]

yeah i'm bummed the fuck out dude
as soon as i got on the plane i missed you

[hypochondrias]

I thought it would be easier if you left while I was at work but I was so wrong
I’d rather take you to the airport and kiss you goodbye at LAX than come home to an empty house

[trashmouthing]

jesus
i'm not old enough to wanna retire just so i can stay home and spoon you all fucking day but
JESUS

[hypochondrias]

Let me make the money in this household so I can keep you at home

[trashmouthing]

you know i'd be a shitty housewife

[hypochondrias]

Good thing you’ll be my perfect househusband

[trashmouthing]

i'll be whatever you want me to be babe
also my food is here so i'm going to eat
then i'm going to clean up
then if i don't get to watch you jerk off on facetime i'm gonna mcfreaking lose it

[hypochondrias]

Okay fine I guess I can wait for you to eat and take a shower
Though hopefully you’ll be joining me and needing a shower after FaceTime too

[trashmouthing]

if just texting you gets my dick hard you should see what seeing your dick getting hard does to my dick

[hypochondrias]

Jesus fuck
Hurry up or you’re gonna quickly close this window
I’m already pretty sure I’m not gonna last more than 60 seconds

[trashmouthing]

just means we can make it a double baby

[hypochondrias]

You have a lot of faith in my dick

[trashmouthing]

i've never believed in anything more

[hypochondrias]

Pretty sure I can name a couple of things

[trashmouthing]

1. you
2. your ass
3. you'd probably do a pretty good elbow drop if the situation ever called for it. i mean i hope you never HAVE to but if you did someone would die
4. there really is a treasure map on the back of the declaration of independence

[hypochondrias]

You’re an idiot and I’m madly in love with you
It’s contingent on you never watching National Treasure ever again

[trashmouthing]

4a. national treasure is a documentary

[hypochondrias]

Nicholas Cage
A founding father

[trashmouthing]

what if we called the founding fathers discover daddies