open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

i wanna see what you're wearing

i miss you too baby
this is why we need a dog i can't stand you being lonely at home

[hypochondrias]

We'll get us a dog just to keep me company huh?
I keep thinking about getting a dog and definitely treating it like our child
Give me a second

[ it's a couple of minutes before richie gets a new photo over text: eddie reclining on their wide couch, in a t-shirt and a pair of dark-colored joggers he changes into for the gym or after work. and the t-shirt? definitely one of richie's, a well worn talking heads shirt chosen mostly because it smells the most like richie. he's got an arm hooked behind his neck and a knee up, legs spread just enough. ]

Super exciting I know

[trashmouthing]

fuck yeah i wanna co-parent a dog with you are you kidding
dogs are way cuter than actual children
plus we wouldn't have to save up for a dog to go to college

FUCK
you're so fucking sexy
get that bicep the fuck out of my face

[hypochondrias]

Might be good for keeping you company too
For when I gotta travel around a little

I'm really getting into the whole
Wearing your boyfriend's clothes thing
You're so much bigger than me

[trashmouthing]

for sure
although i'm a huge dick who's like "i should just clear my schedule whenever eddie has to go out of town"
i didn't know human beings could get so fucking needy but here i am

that's so hot
you'd look amazing in a potato sack but you in my shit just does it for me

[hypochondrias]

Yeah god
I already knew I've been needy my whole life but this is a whole different level
If you can come with me then I want you to

Yeah I'm kinda getting turned on just laying around in your clothes
I've got it bad

[trashmouthing]

i wish you could come with me more often

oh yeah no if you were planning on jerking it tonight i'm gonna have to insist on a front-row seat

[hypochondrias]

Speaking of going with you
I think I'm gonna take this work from home job
And ask for more money

You better join me if I FaceTime you

[trashmouthing]

REALLY?
hell yeah baby get those coins

of course my love
gimme a bit though i got delivery on the way and i don't want the ubereats guy to catch me with my dick out

[hypochondrias]

Jesus am I gonna have to wait for you to eat your double cheeseburger before I jerk off??!

[trashmouthing]

I MEAN NO
IT'S A FREE COUNTRY YOU CAN JERK OFF WHENEVER YOU WANT

[hypochondrias]

I'm not sending you a video

[trashmouthing]

why not

[hypochondrias]

We're not gonna argue about the cloud again dude
It's FaceTime or wait until next time

[trashmouthing]

you know the spank bank folder isn't just you in workout clothes right

[hypochondrias]

Richieeeeeeeee

[trashmouthing]

eddie my love

[hypochondrias]

What's in that folder Richie

[trashmouthing]

i refuse to self-incriminate
i know my rights

[hypochondrias]

You're gonna wish you had any rights if your phone gets stolen
Or hacked
Or some shit
And I fucking kill you
I swear to god dude I swear to GOD

[trashmouthing]

I HAVE NEEDS EDWARD

[hypochondrias]

Oh my god I'm gonna get Marcia Clarked and it's gonna be mostly your fault

[trashmouthing]

NO ONE'S GONNA HACK MY PHONE NO ONE IS THAT INTERESTED IN MY LIFE
besides i'm not keeping a fucking
dick pic museum over here

[hypochondrias]

You have no fifth amendment rights in this household now answer the question or be held in contempt of the dick courts

[trashmouthing]

you're so fucking funny it's literally exhausting
here dumbass

[ a screencap of the album thumbnails, which to richie's credit isn't actually full of nudes. it is, however, a very tidy chronology of every thirst trap picture eddie has possibly ever sent him. the tiniest icons at the top of the screen suggest a time when they were only sort of dating, even. it is maybe very clear that richie has never deleted a photo of eddie in his life. ]