open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

couldn't be i never had a costco membership
maybe i should get one if guys like this are out there buying hundred packs of toilet paper

[hypochondrias]

Surprise, we have Costco membership now!
You were kind of drunk when we were talking about this
Pretty sure they think we’re married and I gotta say I’m not mad about it

[trashmouthing]

oh wow
does that mean i can use their gas station

[hypochondrias]

That’s exactly what it means darling husband

[trashmouthing]

oh my GOD eddie tozier you did it again
how do you keep finding ways to make my life great

[hypochondrias]

Just thinking about getting those sweet sweet deals gives me a rush

[trashmouthing]

what made you pull the trigger
the giant barrels of protein powder?

[hypochondrias]

What DIDN’T make me pull the trigger is the better question
I don’t work out that much

[trashmouthing]

if you're talking about, like, the percent of hours in a day you spend working out relative to the other shit you get up to in a 24 hour period then no you don't work out that much
but i'm pretty sure anyone who wakes up before sunrise to work out is someone who works out a lot

we should get costco pizza for dinner

[hypochondrias]

It’s like your biological response to even thinking about exercise is to flood your body with carbohydrates

[trashmouthing]

MAYBE IT'S JUST GOOD PIZZA EDS

[hypochondrias]

You’re very cute and californian

[trashmouthing]

are you about to new york at me

[hypochondrias]

I can hardly call it pizza honestly

[trashmouthing]

it's a working-class pizza which is why people from manhattan can't relate

[hypochondrias]

No it’s just a California pizza which is why New Yorkers can’t relate but as part of the aforementioned sweet deals it’s incredibly economical

[trashmouthing]

is that a yes on costco pizza then

[hypochondrias]

How often do my nos work on you?

[trashmouthing]

when you put it that way hardly ever

[hypochondrias]

It's a good thing you're so hot
So yeah get the combo

[trashmouthing]

you're so good to me mr. tozier

[hypochondrias]

You like the idea of me changing my name huh?

[trashmouthing]

maybe

has a good ring to it

[hypochondrias]

The name or the fact that I'd want to take yours?

[trashmouthing]

both