open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[hypochondrias]

Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it

[trashmouthing]

i've never meant anything more

[hypochondrias]

You ready to call it quits on the bachelor lifestyle?

[trashmouthing]

if you feel like putting a ring on it baby

[hypochondrias]

I can’t believe this is how we decide we wanna get married

[trashmouthing]

i mean
it's not something i would've thought about with anyone else tbh

[hypochondrias]

You calling me special?

[trashmouthing]

you are

[hypochondrias]

Let me just make sure I’m getting this right
You wanna get married? For real? To this sad divorcee?

[trashmouthing]

you're not sad
well
unless you're 😢 sad
you're not right?

[hypochondrias]

It's not what I meant
Definitely more sad like pathetic
Why, do I seem sad?

[trashmouthing]

no
you don't seem the other kind of sad either

[ a pause. ]

some people after they get divorced get real "fuck the system" about it
marriage i mean
a lot of gay dudes feel that way too

[hypochondrias]

Well this is one gay divorced dude that still really really wants to marry the love of his life

[trashmouthing]

[ cool cool cool totally not about to burst into tears alone at home

another pause ]

are you on your way back yet

[hypochondrias]

Just picking up the dry cleaning on my way back
Need something baby?

[trashmouthing]

not really
just miss you

[hypochondrias]

I missed breakfast with you this morning
I miss you now
All day in fact
Maybe I should take you out to dinner
Work on being a good husband

[trashmouthing]

dude don't joke i'm already crying

[hypochondrias]

I’m not joking
I love you so much
I have so much to work on but you make me want to be a better man
You make me want to do it right this time

[trashmouthing]

come home and say it to my snot-covered face you handsome jerk

[hypochondrias]

Can handle my snot-covered face saying it again?

[trashmouthing]

with our pitiful weeping powers combined we could probably put out a wildfire or two

seriously though don't cry and drive

[hypochondrias]

But then I won't see you as soon as I want to

[trashmouthing]

you're gonna see me anyway
good luck getting rid of me today

[hypochondrias]

Does that mean you'd rather stay in and have dinner so you won't leave my sight for even 3 seconds?
Like even to the bathroom dude just leave the door open