open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[hypochondrias]

I spent many years decorating my house for the holidays for the benefit of neighbors and in-laws and this is the first time I actually want to do it because it’ll make me happy

[trashmouthing]

oh man picturing you on a ladder putting up lights is both cute and hilarious for some reason
let's deck them halls baybee

[hypochondrias]

I’m only getting on a ladder if you’re spotting me
But actually spotting me
Not just taking pictures of my ass

[trashmouthing]

who says i can't do both???
we can arm wrestle for who has to do ladder shit

[hypochondrias]

I know you’re bigger but do you really think you can still win arm wrestling now

[trashmouthing]

jeez eds you make it sound like all i do is shotgun carbs all day
which
fair

[hypochondrias]

It’s not your diet
It’s more like my gym routine
But while we’re at it let’s replace the carbs in your diet with dick

[trashmouthing]

hey i have a personal trainer!
who is only mostly disappointed in me constantly

and yes dear
guess that means christmas cookies are off the table

[hypochondrias]

I didn’t say we had to be miserable for the holidays
Come on

[trashmouthing]

oh fuck
you'd be so cute baking are you kidding

[hypochondrias]

Are you just imagining all the holiday shit because you think I’ll look cute?

[trashmouthing]

yeah actually i dunno
i never really cared about the holidays before
i usually spend this time of year being an annoying prick at other people's parties
also drinking can't forget the drinking

[hypochondrias]

I know what you mean
I always felt like I had to care about the holidays as an obligation
Like I had to grit my teeth and do it especially because they started being some of the only times I would see my mom
This is the first time I’ve been looking forward to it
Getting excited because you’re excited too

[trashmouthing]

something about being with you makes everything exciting
i'd watch paint dry with you honestly
i don't see the appeal of a lot of this corny shit except when i think about doing it with you

[hypochondrias]

It’s crazy right?
All this mundane or corny shit I’ve always hated is suddenly the best thing about my day
I never knew Ikea was fun until we went together

[trashmouthing]

you make every swedish couch look like a fuck bench what can i say

[hypochondrias]

Well that’s a compliment if ever I’ve heard one
Some of those look uncomfortable as fuck

[trashmouthing]

i love you so much i'd put my back out if it meant fucking you on a LANDSKRONA

[hypochondrias]

Why would you do that if it meant YOU COULDN’T FUCK ME AGAIN

[trashmouthing]

YOU'LL HAVE TO NURSE ME BACK TO HEALTH

[hypochondrias]

Just fuck me on our way more comfortable couch!!

[trashmouthing]

BUT MY SEXY NURSE FANTASIES

[hypochondrias]

FINE
I’ll look after you with my shirt off

[trashmouthing]

god you really are the love of my life

[hypochondrias]

Just in case you had any doubts I was thinking you should FaceTime me tonight