open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

i'll pencil it in after the mirror installation and the ten thousand other appallingly kinky things we've got on the docket

[hypochondrias]

Listen Rich
This one doesn’t require equipment

[ a moment later... ]

Are we kinky?

[trashmouthing]

i need you to know i laughed out loud at that for like a full minute

[hypochondrias]

FUCK YOU I’m serious
Are we??

[trashmouthing]

i don't think so tbh
we get a little rough sometimes and the mouth on you is a fucking lot
also we're way horny for a couple of dudes in their 40s
but are we kinky??? ehhhhh

[hypochondrias]

Rough doesn’t seem kinky
The way you talk is pretty kinky though
If this is what it’s like being too horny then I don’t want wanna know what normal is
Cause I feel like I don’t have enough sex with you

[trashmouthing]

talking a big game is kind of my mo
i just like being with you

[hypochondrias]

You also like being in me

[trashmouthing]

i don't LIKE being inside you i fucking live and die by it
love making you come on my fingers love how you look speared on my dick
you're so pretty i love messing you up

[hypochondrias]

Speared on your dick
Like I’m some of kebab
You’re an animal

[trashmouthing]

you love it

[hypochondrias]

Am I just a piece of meat to you?!

[trashmouthing]

well i do wanna take a bite out of ya

[hypochondrias]

I’ll allow one bite
No more no less

[trashmouthing]

at this rate i'll starve to death

[hypochondrias]

We’ll have to find you alternate forms of sustenance
That kinda sounds like I mean other guys which I want to state for the record
Is never ever ever gonna happen

[trashmouthing]

never ever ever gonna happen like in a we're never ever ever gonna have a threesome way or a you're never ever ever gonna leave me your devoted and worshipful lover way

[hypochondrias]

Like in a
The mere thought of you being with somebody else makes me panic in a way I don’t like kind of way
So wait you wanna have a threesome?

[trashmouthing]

lucky for both of us i'm on a reverse keto diet
spaghetti only till i die


also no
i've been told i'm bad at multitasking

[hypochondrias]

Jesus Christ thank god
I didn’t want to crush your dreams by saying I’m not sure how interested I would be in fucking anybody else

[trashmouthing]

i can barely even handle the idea of somebody else putting hands on you
if you'll recall i poured a beer all over the last guy who so much as seemed to be considering it

[ the bar fight incident™ ]

#normalboyfriendshit am i right fellas

[hypochondrias]

I didn’t wanna tell you at the time but he was probably more than just considering it
You looked kinda hot all banged up for my honor

[trashmouthing]

yeah he was a piece of sun-roasted shit

[ >:( ]

[hypochondrias]

God I’m so in love with you

[ because Eddie also seems to recall the heavy make out session in the aftermath of the incident... ]

So the answer to your original question was both
Never ever gonna have a threesome and I can’t imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life

[trashmouthing]

how the fuck did i get so lucky
WHY ARE YOU STILL AT WORK