open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

all i think about is you
usually naked
the defense rests your honor

[hypochondrias]

The prosecution is in possession of a wealth of evidence to support this defense and cannot recommend charges be brought at this time

[trashmouthing]

thank god
i can't go back to jail

[hypochondrias]

I can’t believe you're gonna make me have to ignore the part where you constantly think of me naked and ask you instead about what you just said
Going BACK to jail??

[trashmouthing]

[ pause ]

i was gonna say i was kidding but actually

[hypochondrias]

If I ever have to bail you out of jail we’re using your money

[trashmouthing]

nah you won't have to
it was just an overnight
public intoxication was kind of my thing in my 20s

[hypochondrias]

I guess we all had our particular vices in our 20s
What was happening for you at the time?

[trashmouthing]

i don't remember a lot of the finer details seeing as i was pretty committed to the senseless slaughter of my own brain cells back then
after college i was working like a million weird av jobs and still trying to get in front of a mic every night
so i was just tired mostly
you know all this already though

[hypochondrias]

I do
I just like imagining a strapping young 20 year old Richie constantly hustling for work

[trashmouthing]

if i'd known you in my 20s my lust would have been UNCONTROLLABLE even if we didn't grow up together

[hypochondrias]

Like more uncontrollable than it is now?
I’m gonna be honest with you
I have a hard time imagining how different my life could have been if I’d known you then and knew how badly I want you

[trashmouthing]

i do too
sour grapes you know?

[hypochondrias]

Yeah I know
Do you have a lot of regrets about this?

[trashmouthing]

hard not to
but it doesn't make sense to either
it wasn't our fault

[hypochondrias]

Exactly
And how could we have known? What else could we have done?
It seems kind of useless to have regret about something we had no control over
But I still wish I had had more time with you
Every single day of my life

[trashmouthing]

you can start by playing hooky
say you left the oven on or some shit

[hypochondrias]

Miss me already huh

[trashmouthing]

we've been over this!!!

[hypochondrias]

Well maybe I like hearing it seven times a day you dick!!
Not sure I can do that today since the day’s almost over but I might be able to swing a day off on Monday

[trashmouthing]

jesus fine i miss the shit out of you you little turd
really?
we should just roll around in bed for a couple of days

[hypochondrias]

I miss you so much right now asshole
Yeah
Yeah let’s do that
I’m gonna wake you up tomorrow morning with my mouth

[trashmouthing]

i know you mean blowjobs but there's also a five percent chance you mean with karaoke and either way i'm excited

[hypochondrias]

I’d really be an unconscionable prick if I woke you up by singing and I’d advise you to break up with me immediately

[trashmouthing]

i like your singing