open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[hypochondrias]

You telling me every single one of your friends was interested in me?
Where the fuck was I?

[trashmouthing]

i don't know but now that i think about it i'm probably gonna regret my otherwise amazing top gun idea if other people decide they wanna try eating off your abs

[hypochondrias]

You say that like I'm gonna let anybody but you do body shots off me
Probably

Depends on how drunk we get

[trashmouthing]

i'll be sure to practice my technique
when it comes to licking things off you i will NOT be outdone by some FUCKING AMATEUR

[hypochondrias]

I take it back this might get dangerous if done in public

[trashmouthing]

we'll either never get another party invite again or the number of party invites we get will increase exponentially
this city is too horny

[hypochondrias]

Define "too" horny in the context of
Us

[trashmouthing]

i think we get a pass
i am catching up on like 30 years of horny

[hypochondrias]

That is what it feels like with you
Like I'm a fucking teenager but like
Hopefully better in bed

[trashmouthing]

you're a goddamn dream

[hypochondrias]

I always want you and it never stops being astounding

[trashmouthing]

i've wanted you my whole fucking life
shine ain't off that apple yet boo

[hypochondrias]

Today was a hard day and you're gonna help me make it better

[ there's a brief break between texts, significant only because a selfie comes through, showing eddie grinning over a blurry golden retriever puppy trying to jump onto his lap. ]

So hey uh this place you sent me to is like the opposite of a murder den

[trashmouthing]

oh my GOD
this picture destroyed me

[hypochondrias]

LOOK AT THESE RICH

[ now it's two twin french bulldogs framing eddie's face, their tongues lolling out. it's cute as fuck. ]

[trashmouthing]

dude i'm fucking melting
just steal one they won't notice

[hypochondrias]

I’m coming home with our new son

[trashmouthing]

baby i know you're kidding but feel free to come home with a puppy anytime

[hypochondrias]

I couldn’t pick one out without you there babe come on

[trashmouthing]

fuck why haven't we visited a shelter or some shit yet

[hypochondrias]

I figured you do so much traveling and sleep during the day I don’t know
Do you want to? Cause I want to if you do

[trashmouthing]

i mean getting closer to the right time zone wouldn't be tbe worst thing in the world
do dogs do good in condos?
do i need to buy you a house with a yard

[hypochondrias]

Funny you should ask
I talked to the girls at the groomers about what could work for us and they say there’s plenty of dogs good in condos and apartments


We could buy a new property together
I’ve been in a good position to do it lately
If you wanted

[trashmouthing]

i'm not an expert but this probably isn't text message conversation material
dog yes
new place maybe
i fucking hate lawns but you'd be a hot semi-suburban dog dad

[hypochondrias]

Probably neither are appropriate for a text conversation but when’s that ever stopped me from sexting in the workplace
You have an image of us parenting a dog huh? I love you