open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[trashmouthing]

excuse you the text message format was made for sex stuff
also not my fault you are absolutely destined to be that california yuppie jogging with a fanny pack and a dog

[hypochondrias]

Okay fine but what I’m trying to fucking say is that I’m incapable of not being in constant contact with you every waking hour
No one jogs with a fanny pack anymore dude what year are you in
They’re clearly meant for ironic Coachella use only

[trashmouthing]

dude if i don't talk to you for .5 seconds my texting fingers get itchy
they're just ripping off your look babe
you practically invented the fanny pack

[hypochondrias]

It’s a good thing I have my own office otherwise I’d go a little crazy not being able to text you at least once every 30 seconds
According to you I invented road rage and having a nice ass too

[trashmouthing]

you're practically elon musk except not an annoying piece of shit
where are you

[hypochondrias]

Stopping at Papa Cristo’s to pick up dinner
What’s up?

[trashmouthing]

i've been awake longer than usual
which means i have gone longer without you than usual
and those dog pictures made me wanna squeeze ya

[hypochondrias]

Can you believe there was a point where I used to wonder if it was weird to miss you five minutes after leaving the house?
I wanted you with me at this dog groomer really bad, they let me pet every dog there
But I’ll be home in 20 minutes
After I go all hunter gatherer bringing home dinner for my man

[trashmouthing]

i'm making up for like 30 years of missing you
i do love a sexy provider
see you soon