open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

[hypochondrias]

Why?!

[trashmouthing]

the very thought of you having a crush on anyone else makes me want to riot in the street with bottles and chains

[hypochondrias]

I love that you didn’t assume you were included in that category
But yeah I don’t get real excited about thinking you've slept with anyone else but me either

[trashmouthing]

virginity is a social construct baby

[hypochondrias]

Yeah I guess it doesn’t matter that I didn’t lose mine to you

[trashmouthing]

you're the only person i have ever wanted to make love to in the most nauseatingly romantic way possible
i wanna do it on like
a bearskin rug in a cabin in the rockies
outside under the fucking stars or some shit
i wanna kiss you in weird places like the backs of your knees
that's gotta count for something

[hypochondrias]

God I sound like an ungrateful asshole and I didn’t mean to
I’m so sorry richie
I’ve never been in love with anyone but you
But sometimes when I think about all that time we didn’t know each other I just feel fucking crazy
All that time and you could have been dating me

[trashmouthing]

i know i know
we've got like 50 good years left if we eat our green vegetables though
and viagra's one of those things that's only gonna improve over time

[hypochondrias]

I got plans to stick around for at least 50 more years so I appreciate you thinking ahead to that viagra prescription
We’re definitely gonna be those two old guys still finding ways to fuck when we’re 70

[trashmouthing]

dude old people fuck so much
they're actually setting a pretty high bar in retirement homes

[hypochondrias]

I don’t wanna know how you think you know that

[trashmouthing]

visiting your mom mostly

[hypochondrias]

nice to know you like the couch so much cause that's where you're sleeping tonight