open post;; yeah why's it so fuckin' funny dickwad?

[hypochondrias]

text/call/action ; open to losers and cross-canon! ; drop a starter or send me a prompt! ; specify era/age if you please

Comments

text;

[beep_beep]

okay very important question. no judgment from the peanut gallery.

does this shirt make my dick look small?
[ pretend it's Richie wearing the shirt in his underwear ]

dljkfgh yes

[hypochondrias]

Peanut gallery demands underwear comes off to better gauge the answer

Unless you think I've got x-ray vision

[beep_beep]

can't get enough of an idea from the package? come on, Eds, not like you haven't seen it enough by now

I hope you're in the middle of a work meeting. hang on.

[ like he really needs an excuse. the next text is the same general picture, only without the underwear. ]

[hypochondrias]

[ while Eddie is not in a meeting, he is still at work and treading dangerously close to sexting while on the clock.

Could be worse. ]

Fuck

No I hate to say it but I think maybe the opposite

Makes your dick look pretty huge actually

[beep_beep]

was that 'fuck I'm in a meeting and I'm so horny right now' or 'fuck I'm in so much trouble with my boss'?

yeah? okay that decides it. I'm buying it

not that I need the help but it's nice to have an extra edge

[hypochondrias]

It’s “I’m an idiot for thinking I could goad richie into taking dick pics like he wouldn’t just do it to torture me and now that I’m horny at work I have to suffer for 3 more hours”

Like that

It’s the crop top thing. Otherwise your dick’s the same as everyone else

[beep_beep]

you wanna see my dick, all you ever gotta do is ask, baby

it's okay. you can show me how pissed you are about how horny you are when you get home

ouch. that hurts.

[hypochondrias]

What, you think I'm gonna hold onto all that frustration for another 3 hours?

Out of your mind

Come visit me for uh, late lunch

[beep_beep]

ooh is that code? that sounds like code. I'll take angry frustrated sex at the office for $300, Alex

[hypochondrias]

What makes you think I’m angry?!

[ he typed, clearly annoyed. ]

[beep_beep]

because I fucking know you??

fortunately, I enjoy angry frustrated sex when you're involved

[hypochondrias]

Well now the anger is slowly giving way to desperation

[beep_beep]

desperate works too. you're hella sexy when you're desperate

so how early counts as "late lunch"

[hypochondrias]

God yeah so are you

Doesn't matter. Let's just say I'm not taking lunch until you can get here and get your mouth on me

[beep_beep]

fuck yeah talk dirty to me daddy

you want the presidential treatment or the hooker special?

[hypochondrias]

Jesus fuck is this my curse

You accidentally gifting me new kinks every week you fucking monster

[beep_beep]

probably but you picked this monster

still gotta pick one or else where will I know to meet you when I get there?

[hypochondrias]

Is it bad that I can't tell which one's dirtier?

[beep_beep]

nah I'm not really sure either

bathroom or your office if that makes it easier to pick

[hypochondrias]

Office

Definitely

I've got my own corner one now you know

[ Eddie's probably only mentioned it three times a week since it happened. No big deal or anything. Just a lot of windows, and... shit. ]

On second thought maybe let's test out of the backseat of your car

[beep_beep]

you only say that because you think bathrooms are infectious

office is too exposed with all those windows huh. so much for my little kinkster daddy

car works though, I like how you think. be there in like. 15 if traffic doesn't suck

[hypochondrias]

Look

Look

This is a cush new gig alright what if somebody walks in what if I get a call while your dick's in my mouth

Ugh fuck hurry up but also drive careful because I think if I don't see you within an hour I'm pretty sure I will go catatonic

[beep_beep]

oh see I thought it was gonna be your dick and my mouth. that way you can still make calls!

yeah yeah I'll be there keep your dick in your pants

or don't but only if there are pictures

[hypochondrias]

Fucking

DON'T say that shit don't fucking goad me into dick pics in the workplace

But uh I hope you mean that about your mouth cause I wanna get my hands in your hair so bad right now

[beep_beep]

hey I'm not goading you into anything.
I only said you can let your dick out before I get there if you send me pics.
you take that as goading that's 100% on you

you've already gotten 1 dick pic in the workplace today anyway, I think 'goading' is a little late

of fucking course I do, I don't just say I wanna suck you off for kicks

that change your decision on the where?