[ in the months after derry, eddie had come to learn a lot about richie. not just about his life now, but the important things: what he thought, what he believed, what he wanted. all of it was information eddie craved, like nourishment for a starving man. and each idea, no matter how minuscule or irrelevant, was precious. another step to close the enormity of the gap between them, the twenty-some years of emptiness.
but even after months of this, of hours of conversation during eddie's every waking hour, it's never been so raw. it's not a revelation so much as a dawning, sunlight breaking over the horizon. this is where the threads meet, his and richie's both, and eddie is so close to the truth he feels like he can reach out and touch it.
because whatever richie says, that's shit eddie's thought about himself too.
as eddie listens, he gets the immediate sense of not just vulnerability, but relief. an inherent trust richie places in him to reveal so much, to unburden himself three times his weight without expectation. eddie can hear it, the emotion in richie's voice and finds it moves him too, the beginning of tears welling up in his eyes. it's not just the honesty, or the fact that richie's expressing some kind of experience that's a mirror image of eddie's own, or that richie thinks he's not just brave, but strong when his whole life eddie's been anything but - it's everything. the way it's all come together and though three thousand miles separates them now, they've been in the exact same place since they were thirteen years old.
he's quiet save for a sniffle or two, until richie finishes and eddie finally releases a breath, fingers loosening from where they'd been curled tightly into the shoulder of his shirt. ]
Richie.
[ just his name, to reaffirm that he's here, he's heard him. he doesn't pause long for what he says next, in a tone that doesn't waver despite how overwhelmed he is. ]
i'm fucking EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!
but even after months of this, of hours of conversation during eddie's every waking hour, it's never been so raw. it's not a revelation so much as a dawning, sunlight breaking over the horizon. this is where the threads meet, his and richie's both, and eddie is so close to the truth he feels like he can reach out and touch it.
because whatever richie says, that's shit eddie's thought about himself too.
as eddie listens, he gets the immediate sense of not just vulnerability, but relief. an inherent trust richie places in him to reveal so much, to unburden himself three times his weight without expectation. eddie can hear it, the emotion in richie's voice and finds it moves him too, the beginning of tears welling up in his eyes. it's not just the honesty, or the fact that richie's expressing some kind of experience that's a mirror image of eddie's own, or that richie thinks he's not just brave, but strong when his whole life eddie's been anything but - it's everything. the way it's all come together and though three thousand miles separates them now, they've been in the exact same place since they were thirteen years old.
he's quiet save for a sniffle or two, until richie finishes and eddie finally releases a breath, fingers loosening from where they'd been curled tightly into the shoulder of his shirt. ]
Richie.
[ just his name, to reaffirm that he's here, he's heard him. he doesn't pause long for what he says next, in a tone that doesn't waver despite how overwhelmed he is. ]
I'm in love with you.